Current mood:	disappointed
Current music:	kenny chesney

bleh
wow, i've pretty much ignored this thing x.x

i'm feeling upset again... the other day at work, Lori looked at me and was like "kimmiee, why ya lookin so down, ya starting to look like me around here, quit it" loll

man, i just want him to talk to me, but when he does...im kinda cold toward him i guess. i don't know how to erase all these thoughts, all the bad times...i wanna go back to the good times. when i was blind. ignorance was truly bliss.
and the other one....even before he got his gf he stopped talking to me...what's so wrong with asking for a hug? I'm not a person that likes to show those things...i'm not a person who likes to stereotype...but the very first time 'I ask' a guy for a hug, the calls stop...what's goin on?

Sometimes i think i should turn to ana...jus as an experiment, see if i'd get attention then...see jus how shallow they really are, if it's my looks...or if it's something else thats turning everyone off from even talking to me. -wipes eyes-

and this one...gah...maybe i shouldnt visit cuz it's gonna kill me if after i return home, the IMz are gone... part of me feels guilty for that, but on the other hand, i'm only trying to deal with the truth.

i can't stop these fears...these thoughts...